Enter this angel from Heaven sent to me called Caroline. Up until that day I hadn't been depressed nor self harm since she came into my life two months ago, but she knew about such things. She knows pretty well everything about my life, indeed she knows more than even Sally. Anyway we chat via the app each morning, and so while doing my walk I be chatting to her. This time I told her about what happened and how depressed and suicidal I was. And well she did what no one else on this planet could ever do for me. She lifted me out of depression within three hours and stopped me from self harming. Now NO ONE on this planet could ever stop me from self harming. Many tried but all failed. Sally tried the hardest, threatening to have me committed to the looney bins, and even tried to have me attend a self harm group, but I'd have none of it. It was MY body and I shall do as I please with it! So how did my Caroline succeed where everyone else have failed?? Well no she didn't threaten to leave me nor dump me. In fact she stated that she will never give up on me, that she will be online with me for as long as it takes until I get over it. Considering I'd normally spend days even weeks in depression I thought she was in for a very long session!! But no it wasn't to be, only three hours, my shortest bout of depression on record!!!! How she stopped me from self harming?..... well she told me, if I hurt myself I'd be hurting her as well. And that is true. We have strong telepathy between us. When she feels pain I usually feel it too, often BEFORE she tells me about it, and vice versa. So indeed it would have been so, if I had cut myself, she would have felt every cut. And THAT is what stopped me from doing it. I did not want to hurt her. My feelings for her turned out to be stronger than my Virgo inspired self criticism!!!! She is simply amazing!!!!
These days her 14yo daughter messages me sometimes, with Caroline's blessing. Yes she has two children, a 14yo daughter, and a younger son, I think he is about six. And they both like me!! That is often half the battle with step-children, they often despise the new step-father. But not HER children. I suspect it is because they also get abused by their father. One who abuses the wife often also abuses the children, and usually commands them against telling the mother. It is what Colin did to me, he abuses me, always while Mother is at work, then commands me not to tell Mother, with threats of further abuses if I dare did so. That is why he could get away with virtual murder for those 8 years of hell, Mother didn't know about the abuse of me..... but I think she eventually found out, which likely to have led to the eventual breakup. So indeed I was probably responsible for the breakup, but I certainly don't feel guilty about it!! So I suspect it was so with her children, probably being abused within an inch of their short lives but in secret. So her family likes me, and her children likes me - very important in Indian culture. Anyway it seems things are moving forward to the inevitable divorce, it is just a matter of time, but won't go into much detail until it actually happens.
Now this past week..... Passover began last Tuesday and ended on Monday just a couple of days ago. For that week I ate no food with raising agents such as yeast or bicarb - so no bread, cakes, donuts, pizzas, cookies, or the other good things I craved for! LOL! I had matza with my meals as per Jewish traditions.
Now I am "counting the omer" to the next holiday - Shavu'ot, otherwise known as "Pentecost" meaning 50th day in Greek, cos we count 50 days from Passover to the holiday. The term "omer" stems from an ancient ritual the Jews did on the first day of the omer. Basically the ritual involved taking a certain measure of barley from the very first grains of the barley crops, and offering it as a sacrifice. The "omer" is a unit of measure for grain crops, and so it was an "omer" of barley grains that was offered. Then on Shavu'ot, as the barley crops reach maturity, they do another ritual, this time baking the barley into two loaves of bread and offering those. Hence the "counting of the Omer" to Shavu'ot. So while all of the other Jewish holidays are determined by the lunar cycles of the moon, Shavu'ot is the only holiday that is governed by counting - counting 50 days from Passover regardless of any lunar phases.
Last weekend was also Easter..... and the church I currently attend now with Lucinda, they had special meetings over Easter - two on the Saturday, and two on the Sunday - I went to all four of them. I enjoyed them much. These days I can appreciate both church and my star seed callings, I think in my particular instance the two are tied together. I am called into the church to spread the light and raise the vibrations. I am more sure of who I am - a star seed, light worker, and earth angel.
Debra also invited me to her place for a barbecue on Easter Sunday, but it clashed with the church schedule so I declined. I never before had family invite for Easter. I hadn't told her about me attending church, nor have I told her about Caroline. Only my cousin Lucinda knows about Caroline. Next is Mother's Day, that will be a very difficult day for me, and it being on the 2nd Sunday is likely to coincide with the home group meeting, indeed it will be the NEXT home group meeting. Sheeze May is coming up very fast!! But if I get invited to family event, I may attend instead of home group, I am not certain yet, I will just play it by ear.
I would like to attend other spiritual meetings aside from church, especially star-seed related, or at least, more "new age". Only that I don't know anyone in this city with similar spirituality. I am at church cos of Lucinda, I am with her, not alone. But perhaps one day I will stick my neck out and attend a meeting. I think I will go back to Fremantle, but probably not during this current vacation. But at least for the time being I will just concentrate on church, I go each Friday evening, and the two Sundays each month, the 1st and 3rd Sundays, and the home group on the 2nd Sunday. I am a star seed, we are sent to this planet with a mission, not to just have fun, and it seems the church is a large part of my mission. There is a reason why I became involved with the church soon after that very strange UFO experience.
I am still on vacation.... another week which is sure to be a very quick week. Vacation time is always quicker than the equivalent work time. I am thinking of more creative routes for my walks, combining river with ocean sometimes, finding new routes, sometimes linking several parks and lakes..... and tomorrow I will try a whole new creative idea, I will not reveal it until I have done it, just have to follow me on Twitter and Instagram. I have a new Instagram account so to deal with the spammers, it is gregga888. The Twitter is still the same.
It still hadn't rained yet. They say it may rain on the weekend, just a shower or two, doesn't really count! We had no really rainy day for five months, just a very few days with just showers which only lasts a short time. The drought is very bad, it is getting more dry, and still quite warm.
Ummm.... I think that is all for now..... nothing much else happening......
The video...... The Beatles.... Yellow Submarine.... just cos I like it and the vid clip ;)
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