The latest on Sally and the sores on her legs.... yesterday she called our naturopath doc and explained we couldn't afford the oils cos of the ongoing expenses of maintaining supplies of bandages etc, and also that she won't be able to make it to the Wednesday appt due to the sores weeping, she is basically housebound because of it and the swellings. SO he prescribed her some antibiotics and will post the script out, hopefully it will help clear the sores at least long enough to keep from needing bandages, then a bit down the track we can save up for the oils in case of any relapse. Only complication is she is allergic to some antibiotics, so he prescribed a type that she hasn't had before and insisted that I be home the first day she takes them in case of bad reactions. Fortunately my four weeks leave begins from this Friday.

During such crisis as this that we find out who our true friends are. Just the other day when I was at the mall I came across someone who obviously knew me though I didn't recognize him, but it was someone who was at church back in the days when we used to attend church before Sally had gotten too sick to attend. He asked if I was still going to a church, and when I said no, explaining that I have a sick wife housebound and am full time carer for her, the conversation was cut short and he just wander on without so much of an offer of sympathy. It seems if you don't go to church regardless of the reason then you are a nobody. Since she fell ill and stopped attending church we have had no offer of any help whatsoever. And it's not like they didn't know about our situation. When Sally was in hospital for six weeks, I did contact the church, and they did send out a couple who visited her in hospital just twice in the six weeks. I visited her at least once per day, twice on weekends and days off work.If the church was true to what they preached from the pulpit, I should have received help and relief in my carer duties, having people come visit to help in the care of Sally rather than depend on the rather limited service of Silver Chains which we have to pay for. Therefore I would not have been so stressed out and suicidal at times cos I am all alone left to carry the burden on my own. I have had no help from the church nor the family here in this city. Mother would have helped if she was alive, indeed back in the days before she got sick mother did help, taking Sally to the doc and etc when she could. But without mother I am all alone, I mean physically alone, those closest to me are far from me in physical distance.... how ironic it is that mother died just before Sally's health started to get worse, when I needed mother the most!!!! How cruel is fate itself........

Sally wants to go back to church when she gets better albeit perhaps a different church. However I will be far more circumspect in regards to any involvement in any church. I will not be giving my heart and soul to it as I had before. Pagans care more for each other in physical tangible ways than most Christians! In any case I am more Jewish than anything else, I always have been, it is in my soul, it has been from the beginning..... I am Jewish at least in my soul.