Life on this planet: The Chiron Effect and the Aquarium

Pondering on the passing of Mother's 2nd husband, the step-father, of course Chiron once again played a part as this pesky little planetoid always does. All of my life's catastrophes are linked in some ways to Chiron. As we all know by now, Chiron's transit of Aries from 1968-1976 coincided almost exactly with the 8 years of Hell, of abuse.... and of poverty.

What happened to save us from this poverty at the end of Chiron's transit of Aries? Mother finally, most thankfully, had given that evil character the boot.... and not long after, she met another man who was destined to treat us way better with no more abuse. And he was relatively wealthy. He wasn't really that rich, but from our poverty viewpoint, he was akin to a millionaire. Things immediately got better financially, especially after the marriage. He paid my way through university so I wouldn't have to work for it, and we finally gotten out of our depressing public housing estate for a brand new house on top of the hill. It wasn't that great but compared to our run down little old house in the public housing estate, it was akin to a mansion. And was acquired without a mortgage.

So at least economically our lives had vastly improved..... then of course as Chiron entered Pisces, Mother passed away, leaving the step-father on his lonesome for the next seven years. Then ironically, as Chiron entered Aries for the 2nd time in my life, the man who saved us from poverty had himself passed away!!! Thus the family home now left in the hands of my brother, the off spring from the 2nd marriage.

As what usually happens in such situations, the opportunity arose for the family "looting", the raiding of the family home for whatever we care to lay our hands on. And so the invitation came from my brother for the family looting of the family home, where I had spent a fair proportion of my early adult life. This took place last weekend.

At first I wasn't going to go there. My cosy little abode is already full of clutter legacy of my bower bird little wife, which I am slowly but surely getting rid of. I certainly didn't need to add to the clutter!!!! The invitation was given out a week prior, but it took me up to literally the night before the event to decide I would go there afterall. But would make sure I would collect only what I need, not anything just for the sake of it, just because its "free".

So while most of the others grabbed pretty well anything from various nick knacks, ornaments, etc, through to appliances and furniture, I took only a few things that I really needed, such as 10kgs of the expensive laundry powder that I normally use but costs me a fortune, some food items that will save on my grocery bill, some clothes cos I hate spending money on clothes therefore never have enough, a couple of cute ornaments, some more plants for my balcony....... and an aquarium!!!!

The aquarium was something of a surprise, I didn't even know they had one!!! But apparently it was never set up. Mother had acquired it just before she got sick, so was too sick to do anything with it, so it was just kept stored as new with all the items. Back in my teen years, just after the 8 years of Hell, indeed for my 15th birthday I had gotten a large aquarium - one of the legacy of our increased wealth. It was a 4-foot aquarium, and I had kept my tropical fish in them up until my America trip of 1998. Due to me being in America, and given up the lease on my apartment to save on the rent, the aquarium was transferred back to Mother's house, to my old room, where it was kept set up for a while..... It was later returned to me a while afterwards, minus the fish, and so due to married life happening with all its trials and torments, the aquarium lay empty in storage.... and with the forces of old age, when the glass began to crack, it was eventually disposed of this year when I cleaned out my storage unit...... and I really never expected to ever acquire a new aquarium given my focus to save my pennies on my overseas trips.

Now back to last week's looting of the family home..... toward the end of our time there, when we had pretty well collected all what we were going to acquire, my brother had brought down the aquarium from upstairs complete with the equipment.My first thought was, wow!!! It be great to have for my apartment. It's not as big as my old aquarium, but at the same time, it is not ridiculously tiny, it was quite a good size!!!

But of course, me being one with four planets in VIRGO, I held back. I mean, it took me a while before I even claimed the laundry powder, waiting for all other family members to look at them. There were three boxes, a family member took one, and when no one else was going to claim it, I decided to claim the last two!!!! And so it was with the aquarium. My Virgoan nature forbade me to claim it immediately. I waited for all other family members to have a look at it and decide on it. And amazingly no one else wanted it!!!!! Even then I waited for a bit in case someone changed their mind..... while my brother was imploring for SOMEONE to take it...... only then I decided to step in and lay claim to it!!!!!

This aquarium is superior to my old aquarium even though it was not as large. This one has the modern LED lighting which pretty well lasts forever. My old aquarium had the fluorescent light which was forever failing, and so was always needing to replace the tube out of my scant pocket money. Although we were out of poverty during my teen years, Mother was still very tight with money, it is what 8 years of poverty does to you. So my pocket money allowance, though I gotten more, it was still very scant, and I was expected to use it to pay for everything, from repairs to my bicycle, through to family gifts for birthdays, Xmas, Easter, Mother's Day and other holidays..... and for my aquarium!!! This often left me with nothing, and my attempts to save my pocket money always seemed thwarted, as soon as I saved a bit, something would go wrong with my bicycle, or a particular birthday or other holiday would come up, or some other shit, and the money would be gone!!! I rarely was able to spend it on anything for myself, I couldn't even get records or tapes of my favourite music band with my pocket money, I never had enough of it!!!!

The other major improvement with this aquarium was a electrically powered water filter!! Back in the days of my old aquarium, all I had were those air powered filters that would sit in the corner of the tank, and it worked by pumping air bubbles through the device which in theory pulled the water through filtering out the shit in it. But they were never very effective, and I was forever having to clean my aquarium, replacing part of the water each month, and totally every 12 months. I had aspired to the powered filters which does a far better job at filtering the water, but these were way beyond what I could afford out of my very meagre pocket money allowance, so remained an unattainable dream. Now decades later, I have an aquarium with a powered filter which sits outside the tank hence not taking up valuable space inside.

So now, over these next few weeks, I am in the process of setting up this aquarium. First task was to wash out the gravel, which was still in its original bag!!! That I had just done. Now to landscape it. The aquarium came with rocks and pebbles, and well I can hardly wait to put my creativity to use in designing the landscape - or I should perhaps say, waterscape - for the aquarium. The aquarium had plastic plants in it which I am NOT going to use, I am going to use real live plants as I had done so with my old aquarium. I never use plastic plants. After landscaping it, I will fill it with water, set up with the pump, heater, filter, etc..... leave it for a week for the chlorine and shit to evaporate out of it. I have gotten chemicals with the aquarium to clear the water, but I don't like to use chemicals. Back in the days of my old aquarium, I simply left the water in for a week with the air pump running, this does the job of clearing out the chlorine and other shit. So I will do that this time. Then the fun task of first getting the plants followed by the FISH!!!!!!

Last Monday at my Chakra Dance session, we danced to the Sacral Chakra located just below the belly button, and the site of feminine energies. So it was a Goddess dance, which suited me very well, I love my Goddesses. The shamanic journey involved going by some water under the Full Moon, and a Goddess rose out of the water, and danced with her. I always dance with my Goddesses at my altar, so this was nothing new to me. Then we went into a Temple with the Goddess..... and then back to the water where the other Goddesses, or women with significant impacts on our lives, dancing with us. My Twin Flame was one of them, and so I enjoyed the experience even more!!!! And then of course the mandala drawing afterwards, and my masterpiece depicted my four Goddesses, should be pretty obvious here......

Tomorrow night we dance to the Solar Plexus chakra, located a little above the belly button, and the centre of masculine energies, so it will be interesting and could trigger some issues. With few exceptions, my experience with masculine energies were mainly negative compared to that with feminine energies. This started way back when first attending a public school after my time in that infernal centre, and the boys would always bully me while the girls would always defend me and welcome me into their groups. So I had always gravitated towards girls, preferring to play with them rather than with the boys. A shrink tried to rectify this by placing me under hypnosis and putting in suggestions for me to play with boys, which I flatly rejected. Oh yes I was very aware during these hypnotic sessions, I remember many of them like it was yesterday, and this particular session I rejected the suggestions, I would not be playing with boys, only the girls. Of course this was the 1970s when it was seen as a problem for a boy child to spend too much time with girls, the boy child always expected to be masculine and hang out with boys.

Then of course the 8 years of Hell where I was abused by a male figure, and Mother would always defend me, though she was unaware of the full extent of his abuse towards me, and I wasn't allowed to tell her. So pretty well from near the beginning my experiences with the masculine has been overwhelmingly negative while my experiences with the feminine has been overwhelmingly positive. There are notable exceptions on both sides. Nevertheless I always tend to gravitate towards women, and why I have four Goddesses on my altar.... but I do have one male deity, a Mayan figurine that I gotten from Mexico whom the Mayan guy says it is for healing, and he suggested I get this particular figurine.

So remains to be seen how tomorrows dance session plays out........

Now awaiting my fate at the mole scan clinic this Wednesday. It is almost a certainty that I will have moles cut out for further testing, I will be very surprised if they don't cut out any moles. And WHEN, not IF but WHEN they cut out the moles for the biopsy lets hope if is benign as it has been the last time my moles were tested all those years ago. Or if their are cancerous, let's hope it is either of the two most common form which are non-lethal. I am more worried about the moles than I am about my heart condition. At least the heart condition can be managed even if it means taking pills for the rest of my life and my yearly visit to the Heart Specialist. But cancer is a whole new nasty critter altogether. Your fate is basically sealed if you have cancer, even if the two most common form of skin cancer are non-lethal. Nevertheless it is never a good thing to have cancer, it is a very nasty critter and pretty well impossible to eliminate totally once it appears. So will my past come back to haunt me?...... all those years unprotected in the sun......

The kind of question I would ask!!!!