Early Trip Back To Taygeta

Here these past few days I have been confronting the frailty of my mortality and a very real possibility of an early trip back to Taygeta!! The heart attack of July 2015 was the last time I came face to face with such issues, and in some ways this current episode is far more intense. At least with heart disease the condition can be managed. I may have been literally a heartbeat away from a sudden return trip back to Taygeta, but once I gotten into hospital, my life had literally been saved, and my heart condition is being successfully managed allowing me to lead a near normal life, and as long as I do the right things, take my pills, and have my heart functions checked on a regular basis, I could potentially live to a ripe old age.

Cancer on the other hand, or more specifically skin cancer, is a whole different and very nasty creature. Once cancer get into your system, your fate is sealed, and there is nothing that can be done about it.

Last week I went to the mole scan clinic to have my skin checked, for the first time in nearly 10 years. My wife would send me to the clinic each year until she got too sick, and since then I neglected to keep up with the checks...... until recently this year I felt I needed to go back there. I fully expected for some of my moles to be removed for biopsy.

And my fear was confirmed, albeit just one mole that was deemed to be suspect. I expected it to be more than one mole, but unfortunately it takes only one mole to wreak havoc on my body and send me back to Taygeta!!!! It's not that I mind going back to Taygeta, but with so much promise in my at least immediate future, I was kinda counting on being on this planet for at least a little while longer!!!!

So the appointment was made for this Tuesday to have the mole removed and sent away for a biopsy. It was after I made this appointment that the reality really hit me!! We Virgos are very anxious creatures to begin with, and it doesn't take much for me to get anxious. So as one can imagine, the mere possibility of harbouring skin cancer on my skin is enough to send my anxiety off the scale!!! Also knowing that it takes only one cancer cell to enter the blood stream or lymph system to wreak havoc on your system and basically seal your fate. For the last few days my life has been put on hold, and am basically preparing for my own death, pending the biopsy result.

And being ten years since I last had my mole scan, hell knows how long this mole has been festering on my skin. The damage could already have been done, and I have just been lucky so far. Sometime it takes years for the cancer to show up elsewhere, but once it does, it is goodbye planet Earth. Ten years ago I had a number of moles cut out, and the biopsies all returned the results as benign, that is, there was no cancer. And back then I was not worried at all. Of course I was still a Virgo - obviously!!!! And indeed I was worried and anxious about many other things, but the possibility of getting skin cancer was not one of them!!!!! This time is different, I am anxious about the possible results.

Now trying to gauge the possibility of actually being afflicted with skin cancer, as futile as this exercise appears to be. One of the first things they asked me at the skin clinic is whether there is a family history of skin cancer? As far as I know, there is no family history. My Mother never had skin cancer despite her years of laying out in the sun at the beach and during our vacation times. Back in my childhood I would lay in the sun with her, hence my array of what seems to be mostly benign skin moles. It was not cancer that killed her. None of my other blood family members, most who are even more older than me, seems to be dealing with any cancer issues. If anything they seem to be in very good health!! And indeed it has been confirmed there are no family history of cancer. So while genetics have dealt me a very bad hand with my very early onset baldness and my very short stature, at least I do have an Ace in the hand - the not being susceptible to cancer!!!! The universe indeed does bring a balance!!!!

My Twin Flame does not share my anxiety over the possibility of having skin cancer. She seems certain that my biopsy result will return a benign result. Well afterall she is a witch, and she claims to be accurate in her predictions. On the other hand, I am also 100% accurate in my predictions which tends to be more like premonitions of catastrophes, and well I am interpreting my anxiety as premonition of the catastrophe of skin cancer. So either she is correct or I am correct!!!!

Next the Astrology - my chart. There are no planets nor aspects in my 6th House - the house of "health" - which coincides with Leo on my particular chart. This tends to suggest no underlying issues with my health. According to Mother I was a sick little creature back in my early childhood, being forever sent to the hospital, getting to know that hospital like the back of my hand!!!! I was always sick from something!!!! This is more likely to be due to my attempts to adapt to life on this very dense 3D planet after being on 8D Taygeta. Since then I have had only four major surgeries, being my four major stints in the hospitals. Aside from this I have been a healthy and fit little creature. The first of the surgery was around age 7 or so when I had my "lazy eye" rectified through surgery on the affected eye. My next stay would happen at age 16 when I had my appendix removed. I would not see an inside of a hospital, at least not from a residential viewpoint, until about ten years ago when I had a hernia corrected. And of course we all know of my last stay in hospital - my very out of balance heart chakra, manifesting as a heart attack!!! I had four stents inserted in around my heart!!!

Aside from that I am generally a very fit and healthy little creature. I hardly even get the common cold. I never get the flu jab, I never needed it, I never get the flu. The only other issue of note is high cholesterol  which does run in my family - my Mother, my Auntie and indeed my cousin had/have high cholesterol despite their very healthy diets and lifestyles. It was my high cholesterol that led to my heart attack, and I am now forever on statins to keep my cholesterol in check.

OK what about the current planetary alignments with my 6th House? The North Node is currently in transit through Leo my 6th House. The North Node is where the Moon moves from the south  through the plane of the Earth's solar orbit. Astrologically the North Node speaks of one's destiny and future life, or perhaps, our next lifetime. I suppose it seems fitting that this would coincide with my mole scan designed to prevent future issues with skin cancer.

Current North Node aspects - 6th House (Health)

The North Node is currently at 8 degrees of Leo, and as it moves backwards through the Zodiac, it is on its way out, indeed due to exit Leo and my 6th House by November this year.

Chiron - Oh yes the first pesky planet I looked at is Chiron, the planet that often precipitates catastrophes in my life!!!  Indeed Chiron at 1 degree of Aries is close to a trine with the North Node. "Trines" are normally not catastrophic, that kind of aspect is often seen as "harmonious". The trine is set to become exact near the end of November while Chiron is in retrograde. Aspects involving Chiron always makes me nervous, but I would like to think that being a "trine", Chiron would more likely highlight the need for healing not through catastrophes as what happens with squares, conjunctions and opposition, but more through dialogue and the urging of the need to deal with issues for my healing - hence the mole scan and mitigating against cancer.

Uranus - Currently within the first degree of Taurus, this revolutionary planet that often compels us to make changes, is heading towards a square with the North Node. "Squares" are more forceful, however, Uranus is not normally associated with catastrophes. Nevertheless, the planet can cause chaos if change needs to be forced upon us. This is perhaps the source of my anxiety. Aside from the upcoming biopsy, this is perhaps why I am being compelled to take up Yoga and getting more involved with ecstatic dancing, and adding to my exercise and walking regime. The biopsy is perhaps just a wake up call to take my health more seriously.

Mars - At 3 degrees of Aquarius this masculine planet of affirmative action is close to an opposition with the North Node. This is perhaps why I had been feeling compelled, even to the point of urgency, to visit the mole scan clinic.

Sun - Last but not least, the Sun at 4 degrees of Gemini is close to a sextile with the North Node. Sextiles also tends to be harmonious. The Sun adds light to issues, the changes not yet made. Perhaps the need to go back to regular checkups of my moles after having left it for so many years, especially after the death of my wife.

So it seems no catastrophic aspects here. This doesn't make me feel any better! My anxiety is very real, indeed palpable!!!! I think Uranus could be the main cause here, the planet of surprises!! You never know what Uranus will come up with!!!!

Facing the possible reality of skin cancer.....

Probably be ME when I start taking up yoga?.....

During Chiron's transit of Aries my 2nd House.....

When she notices his chart containing an upcoming Chiron transit of his 2nd House.....

The new religion.......

Virgo reality check !!!!

Meanwhile in the Perth CBD....

When the Saturn Complex affects one's effort to lose weight.....

On another street corner in the Perth CBD.....

When the Saturn Complex kicks in......

When my energy is very low......

Virgo reality check !!!!

What I need !!!!!!!!!!!

When I receive new add requests on my Facebook profile.......

When asking her for a favour.... hehe.....

The life of a Virgo during Chiron's transit of Aries......

The Chiron Effect and the Aquarium

Pondering on the passing of Mother's 2nd husband, the step-father, of course Chiron once again played a part as this pesky little planetoid always does. All of my life's catastrophes are linked in some ways to Chiron. As we all know by now, Chiron's transit of Aries from 1968-1976 coincided almost exactly with the 8 years of Hell, of abuse.... and of poverty.

What happened to save us from this poverty at the end of Chiron's transit of Aries? Mother finally, most thankfully, had given that evil character the boot.... and not long after, she met another man who was destined to treat us way better with no more abuse. And he was relatively wealthy. He wasn't really that rich, but from our poverty viewpoint, he was akin to a millionaire. Things immediately got better financially, especially after the marriage. He paid my way through university so I wouldn't have to work for it, and we finally gotten out of our depressing public housing estate for a brand new house on top of the hill. It wasn't that great but compared to our run down little old house in the public housing estate, it was akin to a mansion. And was acquired without a mortgage.

So at least economically our lives had vastly improved..... then of course as Chiron entered Pisces, Mother passed away, leaving the step-father on his lonesome for the next seven years. Then ironically, as Chiron entered Aries for the 2nd time in my life, the man who saved us from poverty had himself passed away!!! Thus the family home now left in the hands of my brother, the off spring from the 2nd marriage.

As what usually happens in such situations, the opportunity arose for the family "looting", the raiding of the family home for whatever we care to lay our hands on. And so the invitation came from my brother for the family looting of the family home, where I had spent a fair proportion of my early adult life. This took place last weekend.

At first I wasn't going to go there. My cosy little abode is already full of clutter legacy of my bower bird little wife, which I am slowly but surely getting rid of. I certainly didn't need to add to the clutter!!!! The invitation was given out a week prior, but it took me up to literally the night before the event to decide I would go there afterall. But would make sure I would collect only what I need, not anything just for the sake of it, just because its "free".

So while most of the others grabbed pretty well anything from various nick knacks, ornaments, etc, through to appliances and furniture, I took only a few things that I really needed, such as 10kgs of the expensive laundry powder that I normally use but costs me a fortune, some food items that will save on my grocery bill, some clothes cos I hate spending money on clothes therefore never have enough, a couple of cute ornaments, some more plants for my balcony....... and an aquarium!!!!

The aquarium was something of a surprise, I didn't even know they had one!!! But apparently it was never set up. Mother had acquired it just before she got sick, so was too sick to do anything with it, so it was just kept stored as new with all the items. Back in my teen years, just after the 8 years of Hell, indeed for my 15th birthday I had gotten a large aquarium - one of the legacy of our increased wealth. It was a 4-foot aquarium, and I had kept my tropical fish in them up until my America trip of 1998. Due to me being in America, and given up the lease on my apartment to save on the rent, the aquarium was transferred back to Mother's house, to my old room, where it was kept set up for a while..... It was later returned to me a while afterwards, minus the fish, and so due to married life happening with all its trials and torments, the aquarium lay empty in storage.... and with the forces of old age, when the glass began to crack, it was eventually disposed of this year when I cleaned out my storage unit...... and I really never expected to ever acquire a new aquarium given my focus to save my pennies on my overseas trips.

Now back to last week's looting of the family home..... toward the end of our time there, when we had pretty well collected all what we were going to acquire, my brother had brought down the aquarium from upstairs complete with the equipment.My first thought was, wow!!! It be great to have for my apartment. It's not as big as my old aquarium, but at the same time, it is not ridiculously tiny, it was quite a good size!!!

But of course, me being one with four planets in VIRGO, I held back. I mean, it took me a while before I even claimed the laundry powder, waiting for all other family members to look at them. There were three boxes, a family member took one, and when no one else was going to claim it, I decided to claim the last two!!!! And so it was with the aquarium. My Virgoan nature forbade me to claim it immediately. I waited for all other family members to have a look at it and decide on it. And amazingly no one else wanted it!!!!! Even then I waited for a bit in case someone changed their mind..... while my brother was imploring for SOMEONE to take it...... only then I decided to step in and lay claim to it!!!!!

This aquarium is superior to my old aquarium even though it was not as large. This one has the modern LED lighting which pretty well lasts forever. My old aquarium had the fluorescent light which was forever failing, and so was always needing to replace the tube out of my scant pocket money. Although we were out of poverty during my teen years, Mother was still very tight with money, it is what 8 years of poverty does to you. So my pocket money allowance, though I gotten more, it was still very scant, and I was expected to use it to pay for everything, from repairs to my bicycle, through to family gifts for birthdays, Xmas, Easter, Mother's Day and other holidays..... and for my aquarium!!! This often left me with nothing, and my attempts to save my pocket money always seemed thwarted, as soon as I saved a bit, something would go wrong with my bicycle, or a particular birthday or other holiday would come up, or some other shit, and the money would be gone!!! I rarely was able to spend it on anything for myself, I couldn't even get records or tapes of my favourite music band with my pocket money, I never had enough of it!!!!

The other major improvement with this aquarium was a electrically powered water filter!! Back in the days of my old aquarium, all I had were those air powered filters that would sit in the corner of the tank, and it worked by pumping air bubbles through the device which in theory pulled the water through filtering out the shit in it. But they were never very effective, and I was forever having to clean my aquarium, replacing part of the water each month, and totally every 12 months. I had aspired to the powered filters which does a far better job at filtering the water, but these were way beyond what I could afford out of my very meagre pocket money allowance, so remained an unattainable dream. Now decades later, I have an aquarium with a powered filter which sits outside the tank hence not taking up valuable space inside.

So now, over these next few weeks, I am in the process of setting up this aquarium. First task was to wash out the gravel, which was still in its original bag!!! That I had just done. Now to landscape it. The aquarium came with rocks and pebbles, and well I can hardly wait to put my creativity to use in designing the landscape - or I should perhaps say, waterscape - for the aquarium. The aquarium had plastic plants in it which I am NOT going to use, I am going to use real live plants as I had done so with my old aquarium. I never use plastic plants. After landscaping it, I will fill it with water, set up with the pump, heater, filter, etc..... leave it for a week for the chlorine and shit to evaporate out of it. I have gotten chemicals with the aquarium to clear the water, but I don't like to use chemicals. Back in the days of my old aquarium, I simply left the water in for a week with the air pump running, this does the job of clearing out the chlorine and other shit. So I will do that this time. Then the fun task of first getting the plants followed by the FISH!!!!!!

Last Monday at my Chakra Dance session, we danced to the Sacral Chakra located just below the belly button, and the site of feminine energies. So it was a Goddess dance, which suited me very well, I love my Goddesses. The shamanic journey involved going by some water under the Full Moon, and a Goddess rose out of the water, and danced with her. I always dance with my Goddesses at my altar, so this was nothing new to me. Then we went into a Temple with the Goddess..... and then back to the water where the other Goddesses, or women with significant impacts on our lives, dancing with us. My Twin Flame was one of them, and so I enjoyed the experience even more!!!! And then of course the mandala drawing afterwards, and my masterpiece depicted my four Goddesses, should be pretty obvious here......

Tomorrow night we dance to the Solar Plexus chakra, located a little above the belly button, and the centre of masculine energies, so it will be interesting and could trigger some issues. With few exceptions, my experience with masculine energies were mainly negative compared to that with feminine energies. This started way back when first attending a public school after my time in that infernal centre, and the boys would always bully me while the girls would always defend me and welcome me into their groups. So I had always gravitated towards girls, preferring to play with them rather than with the boys. A shrink tried to rectify this by placing me under hypnosis and putting in suggestions for me to play with boys, which I flatly rejected. Oh yes I was very aware during these hypnotic sessions, I remember many of them like it was yesterday, and this particular session I rejected the suggestions, I would not be playing with boys, only the girls. Of course this was the 1970s when it was seen as a problem for a boy child to spend too much time with girls, the boy child always expected to be masculine and hang out with boys.

Then of course the 8 years of Hell where I was abused by a male figure, and Mother would always defend me, though she was unaware of the full extent of his abuse towards me, and I wasn't allowed to tell her. So pretty well from near the beginning my experiences with the masculine has been overwhelmingly negative while my experiences with the feminine has been overwhelmingly positive. There are notable exceptions on both sides. Nevertheless I always tend to gravitate towards women, and why I have four Goddesses on my altar.... but I do have one male deity, a Mayan figurine that I gotten from Mexico whom the Mayan guy says it is for healing, and he suggested I get this particular figurine.

So remains to be seen how tomorrows dance session plays out........

Now awaiting my fate at the mole scan clinic this Wednesday. It is almost a certainty that I will have moles cut out for further testing, I will be very surprised if they don't cut out any moles. And WHEN, not IF but WHEN they cut out the moles for the biopsy lets hope if is benign as it has been the last time my moles were tested all those years ago. Or if their are cancerous, let's hope it is either of the two most common form which are non-lethal. I am more worried about the moles than I am about my heart condition. At least the heart condition can be managed even if it means taking pills for the rest of my life and my yearly visit to the Heart Specialist. But cancer is a whole new nasty critter altogether. Your fate is basically sealed if you have cancer, even if the two most common form of skin cancer are non-lethal. Nevertheless it is never a good thing to have cancer, it is a very nasty critter and pretty well impossible to eliminate totally once it appears. So will my past come back to haunt me?...... all those years unprotected in the sun......

The kind of question I would ask!!!!

On those long overnight flights across the Pacific......

The Chiron Effect in Aries.....

For me it is CHIRON cycles..... Chiron in Pisces... Chiron in Aries.... Chiron Saturn squares..... etc, etc.....

Virgo musings......

Virgo self examination after the "Saturn Complex" exercises and dietary analysis......

Probably a good thing social media was not yet invented during my school years !!!!

Meanwhile when contacting a govt dept in Western Australia.....

I just need to find a store that sells jeans that are not too long, even the "short leg" jeans are always too long for me!!!!!!

The perils of dealing with budget airlines......

Just a matter of checking Chiron cycles and Chiron transits in one's chart !!!!

Meanwhile at a car yard in Perth.......

Why she was accepted for enrolment at the school...... hehe

Virgo over-thinking and self criticism.....

The Chiron Effect and Mother's Day

Today being Mother's Day I went for my walk at Mother's favourite walking spot, around a lake in the southern area close to where she used to live. She would walk around that lake each morning until she got too sick to do any walking. It was my Mother who inspired me to take up walking soon after my wife's death. Of course this is one manifestation of the Chiron Effect. Mother's death happened near the start of Chiron's transit of Pisces, and her 2nd husband's death, the step-father, happened just last month near the end of Chiron's transit of Pisces, forming an interesting twin Chiron Effect manifestations.

Another casualty of the Chiron Effect, the football tipping competition. I had stopped winning prize money when Chiron was in transit through Pisces beginning with Mother's death. Now with Chiron into Aries, it looks like I will win prize money again albeit for the wrong reasons. I remain very firmly fixed in last position, putting me in the box seat for the boobie prize. You actually win $10 for finishing the season in last position!!! As for the Maggies, well..... no comment..... and those infernal Weevils, this has to be a parallel universe!!!! If they end up winning the Premiership I think I will adopt another football code!!!

And yet another casualty of the Chiron Effect - my car. With the Chiron Saturn square now 7 degrees away, mechanical issues with the car is slowly but surely waxing worse. My prediction remains on track, that during the peak of the Chiron Saturn square during July and August, my car will give up the ghost, thus marking the start of life without a car. I will not go into debt for a replacement car, I prefer to invest my resources in my overseas trips. The three Chiron Saturn squares during 2017 is what made it such a catastrophic year. During 2017 Chiron was in Pisces my Ascendant so the catastrophes centered around instances of heartbreak and being taken advantage of due to my personality. Now that Chiron is in Aries my 2nd house, dealing with finances and material possessions, the catastrophes will be centered around those aspects - hence my most significant current possession, my car, being a major target of the catastrophes. Of course the last transit of Chiron of Aries, 1968-1976, manifested as the 8 years of poverty - back then I didn't have a car, I'd be lucky to have even gotten a dinky toy car!!! Actually during one memorable incident during those poverty years, Mother had saved up to get me a car racing set for Xmas only to find it was faulty and she had to take it back to the shop, she bought me a small train set as a replacement!! It looks like I will be spending more time on the trains from July/August 2018, probably the reason why my abode is just around the corner from the train station!!!!

Now my followup appointment with the Heart Specialist last Friday, and it seems I have recovered at least physically from the Chiron Effect, the catastrophic year of 2017, the year without a fridge, when my health took a nose dive. My Stress Test result, that is, the treadmill test, not the stress involved in paying the very high gap payment after the event, was much improved this year compared to the catastrophic year 2017. Indeed I am apparently fit enough to be a copper, to join the army or the navy, but just half a point short from being an airline's pilot. Apparently airline pilots requires the highest level of fitness, higher than in the armed forces!!!! I am not sure if that's a good sign of things, given I am a relatively frequent traveller!!! I probably still prefer being the passenger rather than the pilot, preferring to put my life in the hands of the apparently very fit pilots for up to 15 hours or more at a time!!!!

Aside from the stress test result, my blood test results were also much improved, and indeed back to normal ranges, legacy of the dietary changes being made possible by the acquisition of a fridge. Back in catastrophic 2017 my blood sugar was high, legacy of my dependence on fast foods and convenience meals. So for better or for worse, it looks like I will be on this planet for at least a while longer..... though pending the result of facing up to another demon of the curse of old age......

The 23rd will be my next day of reckoning, that is my appointment at the skin clinic for my mole scan. With several suspect moles on my body, I seemed destined to have some of my moles cut out for a biopsy. It has been several years since my last mole scan, and I had moles cut out before for biopsy but has returned negative each time. Will my luck hold out several years later? It remains to be seen. There are it seems three forms of skin cancer, the two most common forms are non-lethal and can be treated. The least common form is also the deadly form, melanoma. Once you get melanoma your fate is sealed. Even if they manage to cut out the suspect moles bearing melanoma, it is likely there be some of those nasty cells having leaked into the blood stream, and it takes only one such cell for your fate to be sealed. Once in the blood stream, the cancer cells could turn up pretty well anywhere else in your body, in any organ whatsoever, and pretty well impossible to treat. It would ensure that the trip back to Taygeta will come sooner rather than later!! So remains to be seen what will transpire on that fateful day of May 23rd.

Now last Monday's ecstatic dance session which emphasised the base chakra, one of seven chakras or energy points in the body. It is these chakras that affects one's health in certain areas of the body. For example it was my very out of balance heart chakra that led to the heart attack back in 2015. The base chackra is located at the end of the spine, and aside from health issues in that area of the body, it also points to our ancestors and our connection to planet Earth, so mainly the indigenous ancestors. We were all indigenous at some point if we trace our ancestry back far enough, that is, being more at one with the Earth as the indigenous tribes tends to be. So during the dance we were led on a shamanic journey to our indigenous past. In my instance it was my past lifetime as Native American (Indians) and the Mayans. I seem to be transported from one to the other. After the dance we did our mandala drawings, and well here is mine, more complicated but referring to my ultimate ancestry - back on Taygeta.

This week, tomorrow night, we focus on the Sacral Chakra, that is located at our belly button. This chakra centers on feminine energy. We all have feminine energy, both men and women. I probably have more feminine energy than the normal guy, I was always drawn to females. And of course last week I was once again the only guy at the dance group, and I did not mind at all, I am loving being around dancing among all these Goddesses. There is a core group of us who attends each week, having paid up front, then the casuals who comes at any time, so remains to be seen if among the casuals another guy turns up tomorrow night.

21st Century Relationship Issues.....

In Perth you need to be a millionaire to enable this to be achieved !!!!

Useful inheritance??

Virgo musings.....

A valid point !!!!!!

I wish !!!!!! Preferably someone who is not a Virgo !!!!!!

During my childhood I never liked going under water, because during another lifetime, on Atlantis, I indeed did end up in a shoreless sea - when Atlantis fell into the sea, causing me to drown!!!!

Here with two of my colleagues resigning and leaving us in the past month.......

During Chiron's transit of Aries my 2nd house.....

Dealing with the Saturn Complex in my life.......

More Virgo musings......

How I feel when dealing with old photographs of myself !!!!!

There are advantages to being a ghost..... hehe.....

When I use astrology and the Chiron Effect to explain why I feel so depressed.......