Last weekend I came to the conclusion that I am never going to get a date nor find a soulmate for as long as I remained in this hell forgotten city. Perth the most isolated city on earth. There's very little to choose from and due to the mining boom there is something like a 2:1 ratio of men to women. If I was a couple of decades or so younger then perhaps I may have half a chance, for the dating game is overwhelmingly populated by young people. Us oldies, there's not many of us around. Perhaps demographically there is more of us than young people, but very few of us enter the dating game for one of two reasons. The perception that it is for young people only, perpetuated by advertising of contact sites both online and on TV, so older people don't bother even to join. Or some of us oldies are perfectly happy with our lot on life, most of us happily in relationships never having to suffer the trauma of losing a spouse so early in age, and even those not in relationships seems rather content to be alone. So there's not many of us oldies in the game, and with far more men than women, we stand a snowball's chance in hell if ever finding anyone. And I emphasise I am looking for only a friend or soulmate, not a relationship nor marriage. I been married once, I don't care to go through with it again - though was happy with Sally, there will never be another Sally !! So marriage is outa the question. I just wanted a friend or soulmate with whom to go out with and share our experiences with.
I come to the above conclusion by experience. All contact sites are different. There are some that are either Perth based, or they filter any potential contacts to within 100-200 miles of Perth thus effectively making it Perth only. I have had the least success with those sites. Perhaps one or two nibbles but never getting far, often changing their minds at the last minute, no doubt cos someone better came along - as I say with a 2:1 ratio the competition is stiff.
Some contact sites are Australia-wide and allows contact with members from all over the country. My "matches" generated by these sites have ALWAYS been from the east coast - NEVER from Perth. So it's basically nothing more than a penpal club. I already have online friends on the east coast through FaceBook and various other groups I have been on - none of them have Perth members, all my fellow Australian members are from the eastern states.
And some contact sites are worldwide and allows contacts from worldwide. Again the match results are the same, only that it also includes other countries, usually America and Europe. Again I already have online friends from those and other countries.
So last weekend I dumped one contact site and joined another. I use only one site at a time cos nearly all of them charges for the privilege of accessing your inbox - including the sites that claim they are free. Almost all sites claim they are free, but all have a "premium" option which means $$$$ and one of the benefits of premium is always access to the inbox for any msgs that I may receive in response to my profile. So I just pay a month's worth, see how things pans out, and usually cancel it before the end of the month and go to another contact site.
The contact site I joined last weekend, the advert claimed "local contact" but it turned out the site is based in America so the overwhelming majority of contacts are in America. The few "local" contacts are as usual always on the east coast - never any from Perth. But in terms of responses to my profile this is by far the most successful. I get up to about 10 per day. And I soon noticed a trend. While many of them used the site's email system to carry on our conversations, many others of them asked for a private email address and so to carry on our conversations by private email. I figured it was a way to save money. So I referred them to my junk email address in case there were some who were simply intent on spamming. It seems none were spamming but the vast majority of the "private email" contacts followed a pattern.
This is where my Virgo analytics kicks in. Being a Virgo is usually a liability in the dating game, we over-analyse everything, and it is why we are generally speaking no good at relationships!!! But being a Virgo does have its advantages when it comes to picking up on shams and scams in the dating game. And it seems the "private email" group are involved in some kind of sham or scam - so I turned undercover investigator to try figure out exactly what they are trying to do. Already the past week has been interesting.
First thing I noticed was that all of them claimed to be currently in an African or Asian country, mostly a choice between Nigeria, Kenya and Malaysia. And they all give remarkably similar stories of how and why they gotten there, as if they are reading off a script they may have gotten online somewhere. They all claim that they went to Africa/Asia as part of their job with their spouse. They then broke up with the spouse cos he was supposedly caught in bed with a best friend. Also that they have no family, either the parents passed away, or they were rejected at birth or early childhood. They all claim to be now living alone in these countries, and some claim to be no longer employed. And interestingly, they all claim to be devout Christians who regularly attends church - I assume it is to bolster their cases as being genuine and truthful. And they are all white Caucasians, none of them are black or colored.
And so they all claim to be of high morals, not looking for sex or one night stands, but a lifetime marriage partner. And this is where it gets interesting......
The first message I get from from are usually variations of this spiel.... the story as I shared above, all as if they are reading off a script. So I email them back, saying, lets just be friends first and get to know each other first. The 2nd message they all agree to it, and then sends me a set of questions - again the questions are identical!! Must be part of the same script. These are basic "get to know you" questions.
And there is another trend. The first email they send, they attach two or three (sometimes more) pixs of themselves, and these pixs are just normal innocent pixs. However on the 2nd email they send more revealing and sexier pixs of themselves, there is no nudity, but pixs that devout Christians normally wouldn't approve of. I guess they decide the man's hormonal surges would outweigh any questions of the seeming inconsistencies - except for Virgos!! LOL!!!
So by the 3rd email they are declaring their undying love for me, claiming that I am indeed that man that they are looking for, and that they want to meet me. More sexy but non-nude pixs are usually included in this 3rd email. They all claim that they intend to go back to America "in a few weeks" and that they intend meeting me when they get back - assumedly in America. Problem is, I had on the 1st email told them that I am Australian and that I actually live in Australia. But they seem to ignore this little inconsistency, which tends to add weight to my theory that they are all reading off some kind of script.
And so this is where I am currently at with some of them - the 3rd email. Some are on the 2nd email, and some the 1st email, as I have been getting such msgs of email requests on the site's inbox each day this past week. So now am waiting to see what the 4th email will bring........ watch this space!!!!!
Why I'm doing this? - it is as a warning to others - the experiences will be recorded on these blogs. Most people are not Virgos like me, and they are lonely and desperate for a mate so will do virtually anything to find one. So imagine how happy they be when their contact declares her "love" for him on just the 3rd email. They won't know any better, so will get sucked in, and possibly in danger - a few have been murdered through falling for dating scams. There was once on the news a case of a older man in Perth (obviously coming to the same conclusion as me in regards to finding a date in Perth!!!!) who was about to go overseas to Africa to meet his alleged "love of his life", but the authorities picked up on it in time, and literally just as he was leaving for the airport, the coppers came warning him not to take the trip - it later turned out that the "woman" of his dream was in fact a man, and he has murdered other men who earlier fell for the scam and traveled to Africa. So this does happen!!!!! Hence this warning that is and will be published on these blogs.
But to be sure, I do it seems some genuine friends from this site, mostly those who continues the correspondence through the site's email system. A genuine contact is generally one who is perfectly happy to remain "friends" for an indefinite time. Love is not something that you "look" for, it is something that just happens. One must be friends before one can become lovers. Anyone who declares her love after three msgs usually have an ulterior motive and often a classic sign of a sham or scam happening. I am really looking for a friend or companion, this is just not going to happen while I am in this city!!! It is one of a list of things that just will not happen - such as, the Palestinians volunteering to give the land back to the Jews, the Vatican agreeing to and blessing gay marriages and married priests, the USA clearing their 1 trillion dollars debt, and finding a friend/companion in Perth!!!! So since I am here in Perth for as long as I have a job, and being a STATE govt job there is no prospect of being transferred interstate, so I am fated to a life of loneliness and solitude. And if for some reason I lose my job and I move interstate, it won't solve my dating problems. Being age 50+ I will never find another job, no company employs anyone over 50. It is another of those list of things that just won't happen - finding a job when over 50 yrs of age. And no woman will date a man without a job, so it be another problem even if I successfully move interstate - I will still be alone!! So it is indeed my fate, as my spirit name proclaims, to be a Wandering Wolf, always wandering, never settling down, and a life of a wanderer is a lonely life, a life of solitude.......
Now other issues...... it is now less than two weeks until the end of the lease, and still no word from the landlord. I thought I'd hear from him last weekend, but it didn't happen. I could very well hear from him this weekend, he could come over with either a new lease agreement or an eviction notice. But until that happens my life is on hold until I know one way or the other. Further repairs on the car are on hold, as is upgrades to my computer, and etc, in case I do indeed have to move out. But I will not press the landlord on the issue, that could be counter productive. He is obviously taking his time, and given that by law he has to give a three weeks notice, he is obviously not in a terrible hurry for me to be out on the day of the lease end - I am going to be here for currently at least a week after the end of the lease. This could perhaps be a good sign, that even if I do have to move out, he may give me some time to do so. And this can possibly be the case of "no news is good news". But whatever, until I get that notice one way or the other, I am not going to know whether I will return to my Wandering Wolf days or not!!!
And the state govt have officially introduced laws for forced redundancies in the state public service. With also a Liberal majority in the upper house, that law is destined to pass. The days of the "job for life" for state public sector workers are over. Nevertheless I am not terribly worried about my job. There were two of us working in my area, now there is just one of us - ME!!!!! The whole of the printing area next door are being closed down this week - October 31 - and well since the forced redundancies law is not passed yet, those poor souls will be on redeployment, though I understand some of them have chosen voluntary redundancy. But the poor souls on redeployment, they will be the first to lose their jobs when this law passes. There are plenty of redeployees across the public sector, they will be the first to go under this new law. Since I am in a position and have been for over 13 years, my job is safe for now. Of course if down the track I do lose my job, then I will use my redundancy package to travel around Australia then settle down on the east coast. Since I have been a public servant for 23 years as of now, my redundancy package will be generous, probably close to a year's worth of salary even after tax. So time for me to escape this very expensive city and settle somewhere cheaper. I did previously suggest Hobart, but I have since found out the housing in Brisbane is also just as cheap, and it has better weather!! Of course ALL Australian cities are cheaper for housing than Perth, (indeed even New York City is cheaper than Perth!!!) it is official, Perth is more expensive than Sydney for housing and rents. So ANYWHERE will be cheaper, but its a toss up between Hobart and Brisbane for cheapest housing, and well Brisbane is warmer, it has better weather, so it wins hands down on that count!! And since I will never find another job, I will be on Centerlink for the rest of my life - and I will never survive on Centerlink living in Perth, there is at least a 5 year wait for public housing in Perth - so 5 years on the nasty streets of Perth, or immediate accommodation in sunny Brisbane - well pick one!!!! But I really think I will be in my job for quite a while yet - but once again this is my Virgo analytics kicking in, we Virgos like to be prepared for any eventualities, even those relatively unlikely to occur!!!!
Now as usual.... after a week of pure sunshine and warmth, it is dull and overcast today being on a weekend!!! Well at least it is not raining, and there is no rain on the radar at this stage, so still hopeful for going for a walk later but probably not at the beach since the sun is not shining.
Now given the depressing dating scene of Perth, this song is pretty well appropriate......
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