Well birthdays are most decidedly overrated. Yesterday being my birthday was one of the worst days of this year so far on par with Xmas as days of dread. I did attempt suicide yesterday but managed to stop myself before doing too much damage to myself. Indeed the damage is superficial and does not need medical attention, not that I would seek medical attention anyway cos the hospital staff treats you badly for self inflicted injury giving off the impression that you are wasting tax payers money and taking the place of someone who had genuine accidents. Ironically it was a txt from my sister Debra that stopped me in my tracks, it was most unexpected!! But there will be no family gatherings, no BBQs nor any other kind of celebrations. Gone are the days of chocolate mud cakes especially picked out by mother who would have my name decorated on top, and roasted chicken baked especially for me that only mother could bake - no one does a roast chicken like mother. Indeed I don't even receive gifts anymore from mother's side of the family, not even a card. In days gone by I would not sleep the night before my birthday but wait until mother sneaks into my room to place my presents on my desk, and then as soon as she had gone to bed, I would very quietly get up, close my door, then open the presents. In later years when I moved out, she would always have me give her a wish list a month beforehand, and by the weekend closest to my birthday we would go over her place for her roasted chicken and always a gift from items off my wish list. She'd take the time to find the game or the CD that I put on the wish list. But now with mother gone there is a gaping empty hole that none can fill, it will remain empty until the day I die. But at least I have my Dad and the chance to turn things around, I don't know what I'd do without him, and with my birthday behind me I can get on with things for another few weeks until the torment of Xmas begins to raise its ugly head......

This is my last day at work before I begin my 3 weeks leave, though it is no holiday for me due to the virtually 24/7 care Sally needs. But hopefully she will start on her Essential Oils treatments, she wanted to wait until I am off work in case of allergic reactions and side effects. Given that she is allergic or has bad reactions to nearly everything she touches it is understandable she is so wary about taking on new treatments. But the oils are our last roll of the dice. None of the other treatments works. Antibiotics are utterly useless. These oils are our last chance, our last hope.

And tonight the Maggies plays Sydney in the Semi Final, the winner goes through to the Grand Final. Given that they beat the Weavils last week I won't be so upset if they get beaten by Sydney tonight. Nevertheless it be great if the Maggies could pull off a win and make it into the Grand Final - then next Saturday would be the day of frayed nerves and fingernail biting, emotions ranging from utter elation to bitter disappointments, utter frustrations, cursing at umpires, giving up utter hope and desperately holding onto seemingly vain hopes. Grand Finals with the Maggies in it are not good for my nerves!!!!!!!

Anyway here's another vid..... if only this can be so..... one can always dream.... *sigh*